Posts Tagged ‘weight’

Continuing on this weekend’s blog subject, I’m loving the return to my old way of running (faster overall as well as from the get-go).  But I wanted to say to you lovely readers that this is totally my own experiment and nothing I’d suggest for anyone else.   So here’s a disclaimer:

You will rarely see me give advice on forum posts or here because I don’t feel qualified to tell someone else what to do and also, everyone’s so different.  So keep in mind that the conclusions I come to or new experiments I try are results of investigating my running logs as well as the peripherals surrounding my running (mileage, what I can handle recovery-wise, etc).  Plus, I’ll try anything to get outta this rut.

Second Run With New Paces
Yesterday’s Long Run was way fun.  Again, like Saturday, I went a little overboard with the initial miles, only because it’s amazing to me that I can feel good going fast out the door, when my usual run profile for the longest time has been 9:00-8:45′s to start, then whittling down with each mile.  Such a creature of habit, I thought I needed that slow start!  Kooky.

Anyway, this was a 14-miler that started 8:00, 7:50, 7:50 (hilarious splits) but then I slowed up as the heartrate increased – was 70 degrees so warmish – then used HR to keep it real which averaged 162 (76%HRR or 81% Max for those keeping score at home).  No pretty progression shape on the SportTrack graph, but it was hella fun!  I was tired and satisfied at the end, knowing today would be a rest day.  Average pace 8:11.

Now, keep in mind that I will not be running all Sunday runs like this!  14 miles isn’t a big deal to me as far as distance, but next weekend I’ve got 17, which I’ll take into the trails and be closer to MP+20% – MP+10%.  I’m experimenting but doing it responsibly.

For instance, this week is a cutback week with 2 days off so I can afford to play a bit, but next Sunday’s 17-miler kicks off 2 weeks without a day off and includes a 10k race in the middle, so I’ll be more circumspect about pacing.  I also won’t be hitting quality work warmups as crazily as I did for Saturday’s tempo (I was having fun testing the waters).

Weight
I admit that after the debacle that was the Philly Half last month, I had a couple weeks of bad attitude with the weightloss.  Not really bad, I still didn’t buy any junk or eat a whole lot more, but I had some “what am I doing this for?” mental poop going on.  Still, I continued to jot down my daily calories (while eating a little extra here and there) but eventually got back to my routine.

Then I was sticking around 115 and was beginning to think that’d be my last stop on the weight-loss train, only because I’m not willing to eat less than I have been (around 1900 calories). But the fun thing about tracking and making a cute chart in Excel is that patterns emerge.   What I’m seeing is I’ll land on a new weight, then for the next 3 weeks, there’ll be ups and downs fluttering around that number, then it’ll go down to a new number with more fluttering.

Today I fluttered into 113 land!  113.8 to be exact.  That makes 10 lbs lost since July 23rd.

Sleep
All my sleep problems from the summer disappeared when the weather improved.  Now that I can go to bed at my normal time again (12:00-12:30) and wake up when my body says to, I’m getting a full 8 hours and even 8.5 sometimes.  Huge relief.

Newsletter
I have been So. Bad. on that front.  Someone asked me a couple weeks ago if I had her correct email address since she hadn’t received one in ages.  I embarrassingly told her no, it wasn’t her email, I just haven’t gotten around to sending one out in forever.  I almost removed the link entirely thinking my newsletter career was over, but for some reason I haven’t given up all hope.  I just have to start looking around for things that interest me enough to share.   Sorry for being such a slug about it.

Thank you everyone for all the positive comments on the last post.  Between the 3 internet venues you guys reply on, I was touched by the support.  Not that I’m surprised, you folks are always incredibly kind and cool.

The Anti-Dicking Around Method
Over the last week, I’ve had a few emails and comments from readers/friends who really connect to the idea of taking the emotion out of weight-loss and are starting to treat their own weight-loss endeavors with this in mind.  Matt commented in the last post “It is analogous to running. Stick to the plan- log the numbers- get results.”  Yes!  That is exactly it.

Simple geometry: the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.  I’ve said this about running improvement and it also applies to weight-loss (or anything in life, for that matter).  You can dick around and cross fingers, hoping that you get to point B eventually, or you can take control of the situation, figure out what you need to do and just friggin’ do it – then you will most assuredly arrive at Point B, and in a timely manner to boot.  No question marks involved.

The best part about the “I’m through fucking around” mindset is that it takes a huge load off your brain.  There were some sweet comments mentioning my hard work and dedication but in truth, it feels the opposite, there isn’t anything worky about it.  I’m just jotting down a few numbers on a pad of paper.  This is so much easier than constantly trying and failing, guessing and missing, then ripping myself a new one for having screwed up again…now that is work!

The cool thing is that this simple idea works for anything you want to change in your life.  It’s worth remembering that you are your own boss and with it, you wield real power.

Edit: In eerily well-timed events, this video is going around Facebook today.  Talk about supporting the message of “just friggin’ do it!”.  Great stuff. (thanks for linking it, Priyanka!)

Double edit: I went to the guy’s website and thought this was hilarious.

Which Direction Are You Headed?
When you improve yourself, there are two ways you can go about it:

1. Focus on what you’re going to get out of it: faster times, a better body, a feeling of accomplishment, etc.  This view has you heading towards something.  That’s fun! Like winning a pot of gold for your trouble.

2. Focus on the negative: I’m fat, I’m slow, I hate that I blah blah… This view is more of a fear based one and the method I was using unconsciously and unsuccessfully for the past year.  With this “running away from” mindset, you’re at a disadvantage from the get-go because you’re already in self-defeatist mode.

I’m not saying #2 doesn’t have a place at all, this is usually what gets my ass moving to change in the first place, I get so sick of the thing I don’t like about myself that it’s just easier to stop doing that one thing (quitting cigarettes and drugs comes to mind).  But #1 is what keeps me interested, focused and turns it into a fun game.

Besides, negative shtick gets old.  It’s boring to live it but even way more boring for your friends and family to have to listen to.  Seek out the light, it’ll make everyone happier.

OK, enough ching-ching, didn’t mean to get all self-helpy on you.

Race Weekend
Girlfriends and running: a winning combo.  Can’t wait to finally meet Rebecca, remeet Reyana, hookup with old buddies Kat, Doggie and Loren.  Sweet times ahead.  I’ll hopefully get some photos up before race day so this isn’t the last you’ll hear from me.

Mentally, I’m feeling peaceful, uncluttered and not too concerned with the outcome.  It’s a fast race, typically multiple sub 1:30s from my age group which takes the pressure off completely.  My goal is still high 1:33, no crazy surprise antics in store.  Just try to run a solid race, drink enough water and if I’m really lucky, get a non-sucky race photo out of the deal.  It could happen.

As posted on Facebook and the 3:20 thread yesterday (thanks for all the supportive comments, you beautiful people!) I had a really swell run yesterday that confirmed my plateau is gone, finis, no mas.  Done.

Last pre-race workout: 8.31 miles and it went like this:

Miles 1-4 8:38 cutting down to 8:11 (unintentional, just felt good from the previous day off)
3x.75mi @ 10k w/90 sec rec’s (6:44 pace)
1.75mi home @ 8:17/mi.  Avg for the run, 7:59

And as posted, it was 73 degrees.  Race morning promises to be 10 degrees less than that which means woohoo…speed bonus.

My bashful goal setting is now under review.  To be honest, it was already under review a couple days prior but I wasn’t sure if I should say it aloud or not.  I hate stating a goal and not making it, but on the other hand, it would be disingenuous to say I’m going for a slower time if I’m not, the whole point of this blog is to be real.

So I might just go for a PR after all – though it won’t be a wild one if I manage it, probably barely skirting last year’s 1:33:51.  Despite my workouts suddenly being so fine and fab, I haven’t done any runs to make me think I can whip out 7:06s.  Now 7:09s?  Perhaps.  Funny to think that 3 sec/mile is the difference between “I might” and “I can’t”, but there ya go.

While I’m in this non-bashful mode, I’ll also state my goal for the end of 2011.  Sub 1:30 Half.  I am no longer sure what’s possible and what’s not, but it’s conceivable that I could do it.

Flo ver. 1.75b
Not yet the full-fledged second version – 5 lbs to go before I announce that particular upgrade – but for the interim, this is what 115.5 lbs. looks like (a 7.5 lb. loss).   Not a huge change really, but it has undoubtedly put some speed back in my stride.  Here’s my last full body shot taken in May, if you want to compare.  The biggest difference between the two is that I don’t have that asinine grin anymore.

For even crazier contrasty fun, revisit my About Me page. I just swapped photos, juxtaposing this shot with my very first race photo from 2007.  That is one picture that will always make me cringe, but it illustrates my journey better than race times ever will.

A Disturbing Run
I’m sitting here with fresh puncture wounds and deep scratches on my palms and knees due to a very strange set of circumstances on this morning’s run.  It was 9 easy, I was having a really nice time enjoying myself, thinking some happy crap and on the return, I take the skinny dirt trail adjacent to the bike path.

At one point, I see a dead animal laid along a cement slab on the short stone wall between the path and the river.  There are tons of flies swarming around it but I had to stop because it looked like a red fox and…

1. Back in 2008 I thought I saw what might have been 2 foxes fighting but it seemed too far-fetched and I always regretted not stopping to investigate.
2. Foxes were in a conversation I’d had with someone just yesterday…freaky
3. It was weird, laying there on that slab.

So as I verify that it is indeed a fox (wow!) it sinks in that someone has cut open this fox, pulled out its guts and lain them there next to it.  It was too neat a job to have been done by another animal and besides, what type of animal could do this?  We don’t have bears or lions here.

I decide that was enough of a viewing and start back up running, but my thoughts are dark now, thinking of the creepy person who would do such a thing.  I should have known better than to remain on the dirt trail because on another distracted morning I fell hard there, there are too many roots and rocks that you have to pay attention to, so of course…I fell hard.  The one thing I was able to do is roll so I didn’t fall on the knee that’s been opened up 3 times, taking most of the brunt in my hands.  I’m cool though, I didn’t sprain anything and it’s only skin stuff.

Headband Giveaway!
Back to frothier matters, I wanted to announce the first GIM Headband Giveaway!  Marcia, from Running Off At The Mouth is having a giveaway for 2 free GIM Headbands of your choice.  She also wrote the most kick-ass review, so I’m pleased as punch and hope you guys check it out and enter to win.

Da Weight
I’m almost 7 weeks in from the start of my weight-loss adventure.  To show you how it’s been going, I made a handy-dandy graph that begins on July 23rd, when I started counting calories.  Body fat tracking starts a couple weeks later when I got the new scale.

With great timing, I’m able to say I am right this second at last year’s “best race weight”.  It’s 116.4 on the new scale (= 115.5 on the old scale since that one was off by a pound).

As background, I started on 1800 calories and lost a nice amount pretty quickly.  Too quickly, I thought, one week it was about 2.5lbs, which was the initial reason I had for raising it to 2000/day.  But right after the big drop, at around 118.5, it kept shifting up and down for about 3 weeks, though my calories were constant.  I think my body knew I was up to something, so staged a minor revolt.

I knew to eat more rather than less because I went through the same pattern last year, and now I’m running a bit more mileage.  Plus, the addition of the headband biz makes me less sedentary – I’m not exactly doing jumping jacks around the room or anything, but moving around a tad more.

It worked, the weight started dropping again, but it’s still an up and down thing as you can see by the jagged lines (though we’re dealing with decimals, not major swings).  As I mentioned in another post, having the fancy-ass scale appeases me while my weight shifts, since the body fat number lets me know good things are happening even when the weight doesn’t bear it out.

I imagine that unless you have a large amount to lose, you’d see a pattern like this, too, as opposed to a steady drop.  I’m lucky to have last year’s info as comparison, otherwise I might have cut calories further when the opposite was warranted.

A word on body fat
When I first got my scale, I followed Tanita’s advice and weighed myself before dinner – they say you’re most hydrated then – but I feel that I get a more consistent read in the morning since I don’t always drink the same amount throughout the day.  Also, it seems more realistic to think I’m in the higher range found in the morning’s weigh-in, rather than 14 to 12.5% pre-dinner, which is more like a bodybuilder’s numbers.  It’s irrelevant but just for truthiness’ sake.

Body fat is trending downwards: the first week averages 16.31% while the last 7 days average 15.47%.

Calorie Counting
It’s making all the difference.  When I tried to lose without counting, I was never sure if I was eating low enough or high enough and if one day the weight was up, I’d bitch at myself for being “bad” and there was always an air of of that around…a real negative vibe from one day to the next.

The wildest thing is that from the day I started counting this time, July 23rd, I haven’t had one ass-kicking moment over my weight.  Not one.  Contrast this with me bitching at myself about weight constantly from January through July this year.  I swear, at the risk of sounding all Kumbaya, by counting calories and treating it as a math equation, it literally turned the act of weight-loss from an exercise in self-disgust into an expression of empowerment.

As I touched on in an earlier post, when you count calories, all the emotion is gone.  And I mean ALL the emotion is gone.  It’s no longer a question of being “bad”, because you know what you ate, the proof is on paper and if you choose to eat more or cheaty, it’s a conscious decision, one you (ahem) weigh before making.  At least that’s how it’s worked for me.

How Do I Look?
Not much different, though a little more compact than when I was at this weight last year.  When I did this from Winter-Spring 2009, I’d just started the pushups challenge and had added a few chinups – I’ve been maintaining both ever since then.  I also spent a few months recently concentrating on core, though I’ve temporarily let that slide in favor of hip exercises (I’m a monogamous exerciser) the sides of my trunk going around to my back seem harder now.

Other than that, I don’t see much of a change in the mirror, my thighs are a little smaller but that’s about it.  I’m more sure than ever that 110-112lbs. will do me well without stepping into twig territory.

What’s It Doing For Me?
It’s making me faster.   How many seconds per pound, I’ve no idea, because it’s mixed in with a challenging training cycle.  But in the past 3 weeks or so, I’ve surprised myself by being able to do workouts that I would have assuredly struggled with…and it’s not like it got cooler,  it’s still been full-on summer.

I’m niggle-free.  Completely.  Got nothing hurting, nagging or bugging (aside from today’s puncture wounds).  Seems like I had an assortment of little things all year until now.  Not saying this is the weight-loss, but it’s timed interestingly, at the peak of my cycle when I’d expect more of that, not less.

As far as fitness predictions, I remain cautious but have a sense that I’m a hair’s breadth away from last year’s PR season and am confident the final few lbs. will see me surpassing it.

I am beginning to dream again.

I’ve been asked a few times what a typical day or two of eating is for me while I’m on this weight-loss adventure, so that’s what this post is all about: food, calories and a few ruminations on the subject.  If you’re not into it, skip it because this is a long one.

For the record, I don’t pay attention to the carb/protein/fat ratio of what I eat.  I did last year when I was logging food and again when I began this time, I logged a few days worth on DailyPlate.com just to check, but my ratio comes out pretty solid so I don’t sweat it.  I suggest you log your food online for a few days to make sure your proportions aren’t way off.

I do keep a few key things in mind:

1. Protein and fat are what keep you sated (I always thought it was carbs until I read Racing Weight), so a bit of either/both will help you feel full longer than just straight carbs.
2. After a run, you want to eat within an hour or so and include a little protein to aid recovery.
3. Since I eat less and stop eating earlier than I used to, if I have a hard run the next morning, I make sure I get a nice carby meal that night.  Might not make a difference but it can’t hurt.
4. If you don’t already, consider taking a multi-vitamin to cover any potential holes.

Tools Of The Trade - my postal scale (only used to weigh marijuana once and not successfully, either) and my cups and tablespoon.

Now About That Food…
I live alone so I rarely never feel like cooking. One thing I love to do is make a huge pot of rice or Trader Joe’s Harvest Grains and divide them into 1-cup portions, put them in baggies and shove them in the freezer.  That way I’ve always got perfectly-sized servings on hand.

Bread – I avoid those huge-ass loaves and try to keep the calories per slice around 70 – this requires some label reading since most of them are 90-120.  And I always get whole wheat or a grain mix.

Herbs – I love these Dorot frozen cubes.  I get the garlic and basil ones at Trader Joe’s.

Warning: Trader Joe’s (TJ’s) is a running theme throughout the post, though several of the items including these cubes, are available elsewhere.  I’m sorry if you don’t have one in your town or country, it kicks ass.  In lieu of that, similar frozen meals to the ones below are available in Whole Foods or normal grocery stores, though usually pricier.

Butter – I use faux stuff, 50 calories instead of 100.  I also use (but only for popcorn) “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” spray.  Some of you are barfing over this, but it works for me.  For cooking, I always use non-stick cooking spray.

Cheese – I had stopped buying cheese since I’m either a pig with it or it gets old in the fridge.  Now I buy individually wrapped string cheese and cheddar cheese which works great because it’s a pre-measured 70 or 80 calories, stays fresh and makes a great small snack.

Syrup – I respect that some of you hate the idea of Splenda and sweeteners, but I love my Maple Grove sugar-free syrup.  Compare 210 calories for 1/4 cup of normal to 30 calories for this stuff.  Btw, I don’t eat the standard portion size of 1/4 cup, I get 8 servings out of a bottle instead of 6, so that’s only 22 calories per slab of pancakes.  My insatiable sweet tooth is very happy.

Veggie Burgers – I’m not a vegetarian at all but I’ve not had the urge to buy or cook raw meat in a long time.  I do however, like to keep an assortment of veggie burgers on hand.  They’re so easy to prepare and yummy, too, though a couple aren’t really “burgers” at all, just shaped like them: Dr. Praeger’s California burgers (110 cal) which are so vegetabley, you can see each individual pea and carrot and Trader Joe’s Vegetable Masala burgers (120 cal) which are fantastic if you like Indian food, really great to crumble over grains or rice.  When I want one that tastes and chews like an actual burger, I get Boca burgers (140 cal).

Grains and Pasta: Big favorite is TJ’s Harvest Grains which contains Israeli couscous, red and green orzo, split dried garbanzo beans, and red quinoa.  It’s 283 cal for a prepared cup, easy to make as couscous, has 10g of protein and has a wonderful substantial texture.  I make mine with chicken bullion and no added fat, cook the whole bag (yields 6 cups) and freeze half of it in the aforementioned baggies.

As for pasta, I just recently started eating whole wheat pasta and love it.  The thing about pasta is you really need to measure or weigh it before cooking because it’s too easy to make unnecessarily large portions.

Frozen Entrees: Trader Joe’s has so many excellent ones, I’m only partially ashamed of my frozen food consumption.  When buying frozen entrees, I always look for portion sizes that go with my calorie goals, 450 -500 calories.  If I bought something that had 650, I surely wouldn’t put 4 bites in the fridge for leftovers, I’d eat the whole thing, so it’s just easier to choose the right amount from the start.

Dividing Your Calories Up
As per the Racing Weight book, when I was targeting 1800 calories, that’s 450 per meal and 150 per snack.  Now that I’m going for 1900-2000, I add a bit here and there.  My main deal is to make sure that by the time dinner rolls around, I’ve had about 1200 calories so I’m not “saving for later” as I used to.  This also makes lunch a hell of a lot more fun because I can eat the meals I’d only reserved for dinner in the past.

So let’s get into it.  Note that when you see a lower amount of calories for a meal listed, like a turkey sandwich, I’ll have a small side dish or fruit or make the next snack a bit bigger to try to keep things even as far as fueling.  It feels so much better this way – no cravings, no hunger.

Pre Run (5:30 – 6am, though the last few days 8ish…woohoo cooler weather!)
Quality run or if I’m hungry first thing: Bread with peanut butter and 1/2 banana – 220 calories
Recovery run: 1/2 banana – 55 cal
Always: Hazelnut coffee with fat-free Half and Half – 20 cal

Breakfast (whenever I get back)
Pancakes with sugar-free syrup – 330 cal
Bread with peanut butter and 1/2 banana – 220 (I’ll have 2 of these or one will have been the pre-run one)
Old Wessex 5-grain cereal (I get it at Whole Foods…love the chewiness) w/ 1 tbsp. of peanut butter and sweetener (just like a warm PB cookie!) – 250 for 1/2 cup cereal and 1 tbsp. PB or 375 calories for a bigger portion.
Eggs with spinach/mushrooms and 2pc. toast with faux butter  – 390
Dr. Praeger’s Veggie burger on toast – 250
Maple Shredded Wheat and 1% milk (1.5 cups cereal, 3/4 cup milk) – 380

Lunch or Dinner (noon and 6-7pm)
Turkey veggie sandwich with tomato, cucumber, mushrooms and lite mayo – 270 cal
Egg salad sandwich w/lite mayo – 270
1/2 cup TJ’s Harvest Grains sauteed w/spinach and garlic for a nice side dish – 150 cal
Boca burger w/cheese – 360
Trader Joe’s quiche (love these!  they fulfill my need for crust) – 460 cal
TJ’s salsa verde chicken enchiladas – 480 cal
TJ’s Olympiad greek pizza (a one-person pizza and quite delicious) – 450 cal
TJ’s Chicken Tikka Masala and a piece of garlic naan (yum!) – 490
TJ’s Masala Veggie Burger crumbled over grains w/veggies- 450
Whole wheat pasta w/sausage, veggies and tomato sauce – 500
Pasta with white clam sauce – 470
Rice and black beans w/ spicy sausage and veggies – 450
Salad with lots of veggies, 1/4 cup walnuts & 1/4 cup dried cranberries, balsamic/1tbsp. oil – 530
Chinese pork dumplings w/rice and veggies – 500
Egg noodles (3 cups dry…lots ‘o noodles) w/broccoli, garlic, basil and faux butter – 530
Sauteed fish w/low-fat coconut milk and curry sauce, mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts – 480
Shrimp coconut curry w/veggies (yes, I love curry) – 500

Once it starts getting cooler, I’ll pull out the crockpot and make stews and pork tenderloins, etc. which I’ll portion out and freeze.  I haven’t bought fresh chicken in about a year (I’m so weird), I used to cook a few breasts and freeze them, so I need to get back on that.

Snacks (10:30, 3pm and 8:30pm)
5 water crackers, 2 tbsps hummus and a carrot – 140 cal
3 crackers and an ounce of cheese – 115
Air popcorn (made in a paper bag) – 1/4 cup unpopped 145 cal, 1/3 cup unpopped 204 cal
1/2 cup Old Wessex 5-grain cereal w/cinnamon and sweetener- 160 cal
Veggie burger open sandwich – 180 to 210 cal
Tomato, cucumber, mozzarella salad w/balsamic – 140
White wine – 120
1/4 cup chopped walnuts – 200
Fruit

And that concludes my gastronomic sampler.  Hope it’s helpful if you’re stuck figuring out what to eat when trying to lose weight.  Of course, if you don’t mind cooking, the world is your oyster and there are tons of recipes online for light cooking.  Then you can invite me over for dinner.

Have a great weekend, my friends.  Eat well, run well!

Finally.  A workout that reminded me of what it’s like to feel you’re kicking ass: 9.25 mi w/5x mile@15k pace, 1min rec’s.

As I’ve said, mile repeats are my least favorite workout, they’re just so interminably long, and with today’s schedule having 5 of them, I wasn’t too thrilled.  On the other hand, I wasn’t too freaked either, since the pace was 15k, a nebulous speed found only from McMillan’s calculator since I’ve never raced a 15k. It’s actually quite a nice pace, a little faster than Half, little slower than 10k, so it seemed doable going into it.

The weather these last two days has been infinitely better, enough so that I haven’t had to set the alarm – went to bed at midnight and woke up at 7am, which is way more my style.  Btw, those 8-hour nights I’d been shooting for will probably never happen, but 7 is a huge improvement.  Temps-wise, it was 68 degrees when I got outside, low 70s by the end of the run.

Adequate rest and great weather had me running faster than planned and the kicker is that I actually considered adding an extra interval.  Shocking.  I ultimately decided against it, wanting to savor the feeling of having a tad extra in the tank because I haven’t felt this “right” in so long.

Funny how all it takes is one great workout to make you feel more confident about the rest of the schedule.  Friday’s tempo lands on another great weather day and I’m actually looking forward to it…more shock and awe.

Weight update
My weight hasn’t moved in a week and a half, though my bodyfat number is going down.  I’m really glad I got that scale, otherwise I’d be feeling a bit irritated about the plateau, but the bodyfat number decreasing totally makes up for it.  For the record, I’m at 118 right now so I’ve lost 5lbs since I started a month ago.

Also, I’m eating 1900-2000 calories now.  Feeling like I could stick with this calorie load forever.  In the Spring, in a misguided attempt to lose weight, I ate salad almost every night and lunch was always a turkey sandwich.  Yawn.  Haven’t had either of those in weeks, much more varied on the menu front.

And with that, it’s time to figure out what I’m having for lunch.  Likely it will involve my boyfriend, Joe.  Trader Joe, that is.  He’s dreamy and knows just how to feed a girl right.