Hey kids! I’m in a great mood today, following a miserable day of laying in bed thinking I was going to die. All my own fault, of course.
I’ve been playing around with cooking the past few weeks and it’s been a good time. One of the things I’ve discovered is that a lot of fattening foods can be made into healthier versions by substituting the bottom or top half of a dish with a fake-out. For instance, cauliflower pizza crust is fan-frickin’-tastic but since most of the recipes online call for a crazy amount of cheese in the crust which is not where I want my cheese, I spent a full week tweaking the recipe so that it’d be low-calorie on the bottom yet hold together for picking up. Took a few tries but I got it in the end. I’ve kind of OD’d on pizza but I’ll be back!
I did the same with chicken pot pie, another dish I had never made before and would only buy as a rare treat due to the high calorie content, but by using substitutions…extreme happy dance. I also found substitutions for pasta; cabbage is a surprisingly fantastic base for meaty tomato sauce and shirataki noodles at 40 calories an 8oz package, while somewhat strange, work very well once you rinse and dry-fry them in preparation. I also found a great low-cal alfredo topping recipe to adorn regular pasta (like I say, I’ll sub one side of a dish but not both). Hell, I even bought bacon for that one and I haven’t bought a pack of bacon in years. Also, cauliflower not only makes a great crust, it’s a wonderful faux rice as well, thanks to this little food processor that has changed my life for the better.
I’ve also been into making single serving desserts: one person cakes, brownies, cookies, all this stuff I used to call off-limits…so fun. And the coolest part is that as soon as I started this cooking deal, I lost a couple pounds without even trying.
But on to the poisoning…
My pièce de résistance of cooking has been my sugarfree gummy candies. I started making them because I love gummy candy and I saw some online recipes for it. Most of them use jello or kool-aid as a flavoring which I’ve avoided but the main player in all of them (as well as in commercial ones) is unflavored gelatin. As it turns out, gelatin is crazy good for us! Not just for the hair, skin and nails but for joints, too. In fact, collagen supplements (ex. Neocell) are all the rage now but it’s just highly refined gelatin. Now before anyone goes off on where gelatin comes from, no hooves or horns are involved, it’s bones and hide and the stuff I get is from grass-fed cows.
I use stevia in my gummies which is a natural sweetener and flavored extracts and oils so the only calories are from the gelatin itself, which makes it a really low-cal treat: 5 oz of candy (a batch using 1/4 cup of dry gelatin) comes out to 100 calories for the whole thing! And it’s good for you. Fabulous.
I’ve become such a little factory, I now have an army of flavorings, an array of food coloring and some candy molds to do it up right (though I don’t bother with the molds any more since it’s just me eating them and I’m lazy). Licorice, spearmint, orange, cranberry, blackberry, cherry are just a few of the flavors I’ve made so far. I keep them in a tupperware in the cupboard because I like them to get a little harder on the outside and until this last weekend, that worked fine.
I had a houseguest for a few days, Tony, who agreed that they were tasty (though maybe he was just being polite, he’s an especially nice guy). But something weird happened with a couple batches I made while he was here – after a couple days they “sweated”, got sticky and wet. I couldn’t imagine why, these things were in the cupboard in 2 separate containers (spearmint was in a ziplock due to its powerful flavor) and I’d been making them a couple weeks at this point, yet this was the first time I’d seen such a thing. But I’m a pig so I ate ‘em anyway.
On Saturday, I had some weird stomach pains that I attributed to eggs I’d had at a diner. It went away and I forgot about it. But then Sunday while at a taxidermy demonstration, my stomach started hurting again, though it wasn’t for queasiness of the presentation (skinning and stuffing a chicken is surprisingly non-gory, except when the taxidermist lady nipped into an organ by mistake, but I digress…)
I got home from the thing and had to lie down the rest of the night while horrible waves of pain attacked my innards and when I awoke the next morning, there was no relief, just as awful. This lasted until early yesterday evening. Finally, this morning, a realization came to me.
Both these gummy candy batches had been made with a new bottle of stevia that unlike my previous bottle, was alcohol-free. Alcohol is a preservative. So what I think happened is that the gelatin started breaking down and the resulting moisture-filled closed containers became a home for bacteria, which ended up in my gut. Doh!
Needless to say, my next batches of gummies using this stevia will be stored in the fridge and when the bottle’s done, it’ll be back to the alcohol kind, thank you very much. That is, whenever I can stomach the idea of making them again, but I’m such a pig, it won’t be long.
This is kind of comical in a sick way, but I had a couple more “challenges” recently. In March, my running (what little I was doing, around 30mpw) started deteriorating pacewise. Each week was slower than the one before. I didn’t care that much at first, nothing was hurting and my parts seemed to be behaving normally, plus any expectations I have now about what “normal” is has long gone out the window, but after the 3rd week, when I saw a real trend, it seemed a good time for a blood test to see if my iron levels were at fault.
To my relief, all my iron numbers had dropped (always wonderful to have something clear to blame shitty running on). Back in November, because the ferritin number then was strangely high, I had stopped taking the more powerful iron supp and had switched to a regular RDA of iron – seems I need the higher amount as a regular thing, lesson learned. But this was just the precursor to what happened next…
The week of the blood test, I’d been waking with a sore throat and at the end of the week, I went to NYC for a fantasticly fun whirlwind trip where I got to hang out with 3 sets of old friends, one of whom I hadn’t seen in 13 years, it was just an incredible visit. When I got back home, I was sick as a dog, lungs full of crap…bronchitis. Ended up taking 17 days off. 17!!!! When I look at my running charts from the past year, it’s ridiculous, all these open spaces with forced time off. Crazy.
But I’m happy to say, I’ve been back on the road since April 10th and running feels really good right now, maybe it helps that it’s spring, but I feel like my body’s acting right again in every way. I’m plopped back into yet another rebuilding process, but on the positive side, it came at a good time since it allowed my iron to restore while I sat on my ass instead of depleting it further. And unlike my runs that for the past few months were constantly littered with stretch stops to ease the SI/hip thing, that’s finished completely. It’s a beautiful thing.
I won’t say anything about it from my point of view, it’s just heartbreaking and horrible. But I will bring your attention to my dear friend Kat’s fundraising page, she’s raising money to help buy prosthetic limbs for the victims so if you have some moolah to spare, please send it her way, such a truly great cause.
For the past few years, I’ve been living an odd sort of life; I go out for voiceover jobs, errands, running, and an occasional dinner with my friend Lara, but the bulk of my life has been online. While I’m utterly grateful for the internet (a large part of my income relies on it and many folks I’ve met through it have become true friends) living in this much solitude is whacked.
Sometimes, when I really want to torture myself, I note the parallels between my mother’s life and my own. Granted, she was also a paranoid schizo who killed herself and I am neither of those things, nor will I ever want to check out early, but she was a thoroughly self-contained hermit who craved human contact and at the same time, was afraid of it. That is our parallel.
A few weeks ago, something changed within me. It started with the posture work which led me to Alexander Technique which has posture elements within it but is so much more, its purpose is to strip away habits while developing a deep mindfulness [this wonderful book is the closest you can get to teaching yourself]. Somehow, by redefining the way I move along with this new self-awareness, not only within my own skin but in the world, I suddenly wanted to be part of it…the world, that is. To stop existing and start living.
So one evening, I put on my brave girl panties and started researching free stuff to do around the city. Turns out there’s an endless array of cool activities if you know where to look. One website, Meetup.com, is a fantastic worldwide source for book clubs, discussion groups, happy hour gatherings, and groups for almost any interest you might have. They have a specific Meetup group for free stuff in Philly, so that was my initial source. Then I found Eventbrite.com, which also lists tons of free and cheap stuff, plus a few local sources as well.
After hemming and hawing, I had a couple weeks worth of activities scheduled that I would dare myself to go to. I also gave myself this assignment: to find something I liked in everything I went to, just one thing.
Now, over the years, I’ve adopted some strict labels for myself: “I’m not a ______ person” (fill in the blank with history, classical music, science, blues…so many subjects it’s embarrassing). Worse, I felt that I had long ago run out of interests, having already gone through a variety of hobbies and obsessions. It struck me the other day though, that I’ve always defined my interests as something I participate in, either by making or doing, I’m not used to spectating. But the funny thing is, this type of spectating is a “making or doing”…it’s called learning. That’s what I get for not going to college.
And as it turns out, I never had to look for one thing to like because it’s all been thoroughly fun, enlightening and surprising. I still don’t have the slightest urge to turn on a classical radio station or watch a TV show about some medical thing, but to be in a room while someone plays violin or speaks engagingly at a lectern about the role of physicians from Hippocrates to the present, well that’s a whole ‘nuther story. The live, human element makes it wonderful.
Finally, one more crazy cool realization is that going out solo, the thought of which had become more anxiety-provoking as I’ve gotten older, turns out to be totally un-scary! In fact, it’s downright fun. I don’t feel self-conscious or pathetic in the least, people are so friendly, they’ll just come right up to you and start talking, it’s kinda kooky how easy it is.
So, in the past 2½ weeks I’ve gone to 2 lectures, a museum, 2 music events, a film screening with a catered reception, a discussion group, an author’s reading and a book club…all free. Tonight it’s another screening (with free popcorn and a soda). Not bad for a shut-in.
Some additional fabulous byproducts of getting out in the world are:
1. Wearing makeup and cute outfits again. It’s fun to be girly and “get ready to go out”.
2. After 11 years of living in Philly, I’m just starting to feel like I live here instead of being a transient. Hell, I bought my first SEPTA (bus, subway, trolly) tokens last week.
3. I’m more motivated to do my design work because it’s more satisfying to go out after a productive day.
4. It makes me want to treat myself in other little ways (I just bought a bunch of flavored syrups and a milk frother for lattes) and to quit the grossly low-rent things, like storing filtered tap water in a couple of old 64oz soda bottles (buy a damn pitcher, you idiot). I bought two.
5. Cooking new things. Hard to admit, but I just bought my first package of chicken drumsticks. I’ve only ever bought skinless, boneless chicken breasts. I’m too old to be so naive about chicken.
6. In leaving my apartment and getting out in the world, there once again exists the potential for getting laid. I barely remember how that works, it’s been so long.
7. I feel like anything’s possible. Because it is.
I’ll leave you with this one simple thought: You can change. You can change the things you assumed were ingrained in you, the things you don’t like about yourself, the things that scare you about yourself or make you feel weird or sad. It’s never too late to swerve off that beaten, familiar path and forge a fresh one. You have 80ish years to fill. Whatever you do, don’t stop in the middle.
It started because the hip/back thing wasn’t leaving so I took 2 weeks off with the intent to work on my hips and glutes, which have always been weak, as evidenced by a lifelong sad, flat ass. I suspected a lack of hip stability was at the heart of it and if nothing else, it would be great injury prevention for the future, so I was motivated to get crackin’.
In a magical turn of events, the day after deciding to take off, a friend posted on Facebook that he’d just been diagnosed with SI Joint Dysfunction. It took me a week to finally concede that this was my problem as well. Though the symptoms certainly fit, it seemed too convenient to jump on someone else’s injury bandwagon, but that’s what it was, confirmed when I did a couple corrective SIJD exercises that brought immediate (albeit temporary) relief.
After 2 weeks, I was much better and while it wasn’t completely gone, it was gone enough to run again knowing I wouldn’t be making myself worse. Meanwhile, the hip work was already making a big difference in my day-to-day life. From walking to going up stairs or even standing up from a seated position, these simple daily actions felt genuinely different. Now, instead of being pulled by my head, I was now being pushed forward by my hips. I was literally changing my center of gravity.
My first run back after the 2 weeks off was wild. My ass and hips were engaged and even my knees felt higher! No more scuffling foot for me, it was if I had oil in my hip flexors. I was on to something big.
Close to week 3, motivated by the changes and realizing that an even larger transformation was possible, I began to tackle a beast that has plagued me my entire life: my crappy posture. Posture is often a major player in SI joint dysfunction anyway, so it made sense to work on it all together.
I spent a ton of time going through old photos, both running and regular, deconstructing my physical “quirks” and how it related to my gait and breathing, etc. Thanks to a plethora of info on chiropractic and PT sites, it was very clear how my particular posture (forward head, rounded shoulders and swayback) was negatively affecting me. Plus, it’s downright fugly.
Bands, iPhone and the Book
In the past 5½ weeks, me and my resistance bands have become One. I even had a little arts and crafts project where I made handles and a door mount for them, which opened up a ton more available exercises I could do. I love those suckers and the great thing is that since I do most of my work at home, I can get up and do some upright rows or Romanian deadlifts whenever the mood takes me. It’s casual, varied and dare I say…fun.
My iPhone has also played a huge role in all this, but not due to any app (though an interval timer app is fabulous for stretching). What has made my phone turn into a mini Physical Therapist, a.k.a. The Tool Of Truth, is the video feature. Taking video of myself exercising or even just moving around the apartment has been invaluable. I also put a mirror next to my monitor with the most horrible running photo taped to it. One glance at that pic is an exceptionally effective scare tactic, I straighten up in a jiffy, and the mirror keeps me honest through the day.
The book…this is funny. It’s not a particular book, it could be any book, but the one I’m using is, ironically, from the 50′s called “How You Look & Dress”. I had been doing all these exercises to improve my posture (lots of upper back work and chin tucks, etc) but it wasn’t till I balanced a book on my head on a total whim, just to see how I’d do, that I discovered it was the missing link. It showed me in a millisecond that I hadn’t been holding my head up high enough. A slight swivel upwards and voila: perfect. I can walk around with that thing all day now.
There is an element that I want to mention from all this, that I think my posture had a psychological basis behind it. I mean, of course decades of habit and laziness created the actual shape, but I also think that my rounded shoulders, holding my head low – in essence, being small – was a form of hiding, a self-made protective shield. Because it’s very “out there” to open your chest to the world and hold your head high. This whole experience is changing me on a deeper level, I’m thinking of places I could move to and getting out in the world more, maybe take some chances again. Big stuff.
I’ve been taking a lot of days off because I don’t want to push it so I’m still fresh with it all, but the difference of before/after continues to amaze me. Uphills? No comparison, power from the back. Running faster? Highlights the folded troll ball I used to be when speeding up. Now when I speed up, it’s startling to feel my torso remaining erect, strong and unchanged, it’s the hips that do the work.
But it’s not a click of the fingers and voila, everything’s done! I am basically having to relearn how to run. I had a period where I was getting it wrong, trying to replicate my new walking feeling which was keeping me rather small and then before I figured out the head placement thing I was basically running with a double-chin on purpose which wasn’t helping my breathing any. Idiot.
So that’s the latest. I think this marks the last of the things I can do to myself, so hopefully this is the final fix. It better be, I typed this whole thing with a book on my head. I can’t imagine how I’ll ever top that.
And like magic, 2 weeks turned into 6. It’s been a good period actually, but in wanting to avoid any more roller-coaster accounts of “she’s up! she’s down!” I needed some real time to elapse before I felt ready to talk again.
Right after my last post, I had a couple weeks of suckage but ever since then, it’s been a steady trend upwards. The back pain (psoas) took forever to go and all that’s left is an occasional hip whisper, so as it stands, I’m going to cancel my Jan 30th neurologist appointment. I’ll wait until the week before to make super sure but at this point, I’ve no reason to see anyone. Yay!
As for the running itself, it’s pretty damn good. No screaming off the rooftops about how awesome I am, but my easy paces are back to normal and there are no mysterious anythings. Mileage-wise, I’m getting in a respectable amount per week though I won’t supply an average here because it’s in flux and will continue to be for a while.
The super cool thing is that I’ve begun adding extra stuff to my runs which is a major positive step. It’s all very informal, I don’t care about times, distances or reps at all, but just having the confidence to run harder without fear of wonkiness is magical.
Sometimes I do a few hilly reps by the museum that leave me huffing and puffing, but the fast grassy trip back down is gold, re-teaching me about balance and abandon. I had forgotten what it’s like to fly downhills. And last week I added fartleks and some faster miles. I was super self-conscious about how stiff I must look (certainly felt it) but after a couple surges my body relaxed and it became solid fun. And I had such a feeling of accomplishment afterwards, too!
It’s a happy time outside right now and I’m grateful as hell for it.
The last pieces of the supplement puzzle
A few weeks ago, I dropped my multi-vitamin because some of the ingredients had become redundant with what I was taking separately. Before ditching it, however, I read up on everything it contained so I’d understand the core vitamins/minerals I’d need to replace or could ignore. Minerals, in particular, work together so you have to be aware of the balance/ratios. Magnesium was a major discovery.
In all the years I’ve been supplementing with calcium (ever since I became a runner) not once did I pay attention to magnesium and at my age, I take a good amount of calcium (1200mg is the RDA for 50+ females) yet I had no idea that the ratio of calcium to mag should be 2:1, even 1:1. When I analyzed my ratio of cal/mag, it came out to almost 4:1.
The thing is, calcium contracts the muscle, magnesium relaxes it (besides being responsible for about 350 chemical reactions in the body) so for me, with these stiff-legged episodes that were almost like a temporary rigor-mortis or a painless cramp, it seemed like it might make a difference. I’ll tell you this, I’ll never be without it again. Within 3 days of adding magnesium, my back pain diminished dramatically as did that creaky neck I had complained about.
Besides the muscle relaxing properties, it helps mood and sleep, too – between the B12 and the magnesium, my sleep hasn’t been this good in years. It also helps you poop, which makes it easy to figure out your optimal dosage; if you take too much, you get the squirts.
Then there’s Vitamin D – wow, what a vitamin! I spent about 2 weeks watching videos and reading articles and studies because of how fascinating and affecting it is. I always thought I was getting enough from my calcium chews, but no. When I looked at my test numbers from March, I was in the normal range but as it turns out, slightly beneath the optimal range, which is something else entirely and has just been updated in recent years.
Major Vitamin D Tidbit: just because you run outside does not mean you’re getting enough, or any. If you live in a latitude above Atlanta, you get no Vitamin D from November to March (closer to NYC, it’s October to April) no matter how much you’re outside. None. And in the summer? You have to be out between 10-2pm to get any – it’s VU ray dependent completely. So if you’re like me and run early in the summer, staying indoors the rest of the day, you’re not getting Vitamin D from sunlight.
Another startling tidbit: the farther you live from the equator, the more likely you are to suffer several types of serious health-ills, such as MS and certain cancers for example, which is thought to be directly related to the lack of sun/Vitamin D the more north you go. So while I always only thought of Vitamin D for the sfx prevention thing, it goes waaaay beyond that. In fact, check out this chart of how D levels correspond to diseases. It really makes clear why the “normal” bottom range of 30 ng/ml is simply not enough.
GrassrootsHealth is a fantastic not-for-profit site to educate the public on Vitamin D. What’s cool about it is they’ve got the world’s largest vitamin D project going on where you can get a testing kit from them (costs the same as getting tested on your own) and they add your results to the study. Over 3600 participants so far and some of the interesting things they’ve discovered from it is that not only is Vitamin D toxicity extremely rare (the more you have in your body, the less adding extra affects your levels) but they’ve also figured out exactly how much you need to add to go from one level to a higher target. Check out the header at the top of their site, it’s a graphic with the table.
I’ll finish this little tirade by suggesting that in these winter months (if not year-long), particularly if you’re someone who gets Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), take an extra 1000iu/day on top of what might already be included with your calcium or multi. But really, everyone should do this.
I had to start tossing my shoes – gone are the days of testing how far above 500mi they can go. Since I’ve recently had such a strong reaction between asphalt and trail/grass, I’ve become a lot more mindful of cushioning and comfort. Not that I’m in heavy shoes now (though for a while, I was wondering if I should get a pair) but I care less about getting the lightest shoe or a low heel drop and more about transparency…I don’t want to notice the ground if I can help it.
As it was, I had bought some Kinvara 3s a few months ago and never did warm up to them. Long story short, after years in Kinvaras, I’m done. I’m now rocking Brooks Launches, a shoe I’d not have even noticed until they were recently on the chopping block, Brooks was going to get rid of them entirely, but their huge fan base raised a loud ruckus so they reinstated them. This blog post from a running store owner is a hilarious read and honestly, one of the reasons I tried them. They’re about an ounce heavier than my other shoes but are still in the lightweight category. What I love about them is their pure fabric upper with no hard plastic bits at all, the Kinvara rubber toe was always a bother to me, even when I sized up.
I also bought the Adios 2′s, another version I’d resisted updating since it included a harder heel cup, a stiffer sole, plus some added weight, but they were on sale and I’m on my last pair of version 1′s, so I got a pair. They are indeed stiffer which is a sad thing but not awful and the heel cup doesn’t bother me as much it’s cut higher in the back, so I got a teensy blister my first time out with them at the end of an 8-miler. I’m sure it’s nothing though, and they retain their status of making me want to run fast in them, so they’ll remain in my lineup.
It is funny though, after being so gung-ho on Kinvara’s 4mm heel/toe differential and now, with a plethora of low heel-drop shoes to choose from, I’m now exclusively in 9 to 10mm drops and don’t give a crap about it.
…is fabu. My holiday season with the new vintage designs was great, it seems I’ve really hit on something. In fact, it’s only January 15th and I’m already 4x ahead of the entire month of Jan 2012. I did take a long design break though so now I’m back at work and determined to see what a full year of elbow grease can accomplish. Pretty excited about it, actually.
In other news, or to be specific, in Adulthood Is Fucking Ridiculous news, I’m trying to get my credit history back. Yes, me, one who has always prided herself on having primo credit since my early 20′s is now offering this tip: if you ever get to the point where you can cut up all your credit cards to live debt-free, as I did about 10 years ago…DON’T! Because as virtuous as it might make you feel, I am now in the situation of having no credit history at all. Nada. It’s like I don’t exist.
It hasn’t been a pressing matter, I’m not buying a car or a house anytime soon, but I realized I’d been wiped off the credit landscape a year ago when I moved into this apartment and they couldn’t pull up anything for me. I’d forgotten about it till I wanted to rent a car from Avis a few months ago and wasn’t able to since they wouldn’t accept a debit card, so I figured it was time to fix it.
I applied for 2 cards this week, one to a bank with whom I’d had a Visa for 15 years and the other to my current bank, which I’ve been a customer of since 2002. I was turned down for both. Ultimately, realizing I wasn’t going to get anywhere via normal means, I ended up getting a secured credit card. This is what people returning from bankruptcy have to do! Grrr
Please know I’m not worried about it at all, like I say, it’s only a formality, but I do find it utterly ironic that being such a good girl, doing the most responsible thing with money now makes me untrustable. And building a new credit history at age 51 is just plain stupid. So anyway, never get rid of all your cards, keep your oldest one, at least.
And that’s about it for this ungodly long post. I appreciate the Facebook waves and hellos and checking up on me the past few weeks, so sweet, but all is well, knock on wood. Until next time, have some great running, living, laughing and fill in the blanking (make it dirty). Later, loves.
First off, something I omitted from Monday’s ER visit: the doctor, looking at my MRI records, said my neck could be part of the problem. I didn’t mention this because in March, while there was talk about it (one young ortho was convinced it was the whole issue) the orthopedic surgeon and neurologists didn’t think it was the cause, so it was forgotten. However, with this doc bringing it up again, and now with pinched nerve thoughts, I began reading up.
My neck situation includes degeneration in my cervical spine, both mild and moderate, plus a small bulge, but the more important issue is that I have cervical stenosis from C4-C7.
Stenosis is a narrowing of the spinal column which means less room for nerves, and wouldn’t you know…brings the potential for leg weakness and “intermittent gait and balance disturbances”. It’s all over the place in my reading with this article being almost eerily descriptive.
While the March doctors dismissed the stenosis angle, one thing is sure: I’m a runner, my symptoms only appear when I’m running and since no one’s been able to predict, gauge or even confidently guess the impact of running, it behooves me to improve my situation any way I can, even if an idea was previously dismissed. Plus, I’ve been walking around with a stiff neck for…I can’t even remember how long, which is just dumb. “Use it or lose it” as they say.
So I’m on a mission to improve my neck alignment and mobility, the better to give those nerves a more comfortable, spacious home in which to live. Even if it has no effect on this situation, it’s stupid to live with deterioration if I can help delay or even repair the decline.
To this end, I’ve been doing neck stretches and exercises, pulled out a yoga DVD, and yesterday had yet another great massage – this time with a lot of attention on the neck. He found the Knot Of Death and also gave me some great tips for massaging my neck myself, which makes visiting him so much more valuable than the time spent on his table. If any of you locals are in need of a massage, please check Philamassages out, Brian’s one of the owners and I trust him implicitly.
He also gave me a link to an AIS site (Active Isolated Stretching) for a good neck sequence, which is pretty cool. I like the pace of AIS, so this’ll probably be my go-to method of self-therapy for my entire body, not just the neck since, by the end of my yoga DVD I was all “Please, not another Downward Dog.”
B12 – Still A Possibility
You’ll notice I haven’t said “Damn, I guess it wasn’t B12 after all” because it still might be! Seems to be pretty common that you can feel better and then feel worse for a while. Aside from first-hand accounts, there are several docs and sites that say as much: “It sometimes happens that a symptom becomes worse at some point after treatment begins, sometimes dramatically so. This is temporary, but may last a while.” “Another phenomenon is what has been called the “honeymoon”. This is when there a great improvement in the first few days or weeks that really offers hope to people. Then as the body really starts to heal, they experience great fatigue and increased symptoms, leading to a fear that the supplementation isn’t working.”
As mentioned before, B12 is crucial for nerve health, without it the myelin sheath that surrounds and protects nerves breaks down. So by taking B12 for a deficiency, the sheath is able to rebuild. That is, assuming the damage isn’t too far gone but since my symptoms only appear during running, I have to believe mine are on the fresh side.
One thing’s for sure, I felt dramatically better when I started taking it, as evidenced by the quality of my runs those first 2 weeks, and some of the “bonuses” have continued without a break. Most notable, my sleep patterns have improved a ton, I’m now able to sleep over 8 hours some nights when for years, 7 has been my usual, plus I get some fab dreams out of it as well.
The main thing I want to make clear is that whether it’s a pinching thing in my hip, neck or B12 repair, we’re still talking about one thing: nerves. So while it may look like I’m going “this, no it’s this, no it’s this!” it’s all one big nervy thing.
My Return To The Road
Friday was my first run back. Weird, as expected, but I was able to go 4mi, stopping 10 times. (twice for stoplights, so let’s say 8 voluntarily) It was a downer at first but after a couple stops when I realized it wasn’t getting worse, I started feeling more positive; running in any capacity is better than not being out there at all.
Saturday I ended up running farther than expected, 6.25mi with only 6 stops and Sunday was even better with 8 miles! Again, I stopped 6 times but it only amounted to 4 minutes total, so I was very pleased. Stopping, btw, is purely on an “as needed” basis, when my leg goes wonky (stiffens up, for lack of a better description) I basically have no choice but to stop and let it “reset”. But it’s super cool that it does reset.
Yesterday was a rest day and today was pretty good – I went 6mi and only had to stop 3 times for 2min total. Progress!
One major thing is that I feel infinitely more stable on trail and grass. Nothing hurts, btw, but my balance is better and my stride opens up on the softer, uneven terrain. Funny, because when I did my first run back on Friday, I was thinking trail was going to be scarier, due to all the embedded rocks and holes but I’m surprisingly adept compared to how I feel on asphalt. Thus, I now go out of my way to find grassy spots next to the path and hope the leaves covering it don’t hide an ankle-twisting hole or imaginary bear trap.
And that, my dears, is it for probably a couple weeks. No sense in posting “ok run, sucky run, great run, ok run” which is what the immediate future promises to be. It’s cool though, I’ve got some things to work on and it’s all very helpful for when I see the neurologist in January. I’m pretty happy for the most part, having lowered my expectations a bit. Every run is a gift, whether it’s a goofy one or not. It’ll be fantastic if this is, indeed, just a B12 setback and that better times are on the way. We’ll see. In the meantime, be good y’all. I’ll be back soon.
Seeing as how the holidays are nipping at our heels, it’s a good time for a product review. Today, I’m featuring a super kick-ass stocking stuffer for the runner on your list: socks. But not just any socks, these are magical “Oh my gawd, my tootsies are so friggin’ warm!” socks.
I received these Drymax Cold Weather Running Socks back in September and have waited patiently for a cold snap, but my chilliest run so far this Fall was 41 degrees, so too warm for these. However, I own a pair of Drymax Trail Socks that I love to death and wore last winter. They were great for cold and weren’t even officially cold weather socks, plus they look like new still, so Drymax is one of those brands that just make a great product.
These particular socks share the famous Drymax properties of anti-blister & non-stinkyness and also, they feature that nice stretchy Drymax fabric that gives them a great, comfortable fit. They’re higher density then their other socks and the higher cut crew will come in very handy when it’s 15 degrees outside and a headwind’s making life miserable – bound to keep lower legs roasty toasty warm.
So if you’re looking for ways to finish out your gift list, if your running club is doing some type of present-swapping thing, or if you’re just sick of frigid digits, this is a useful, inexpensive item that everyone can use. Drymax Cold Weather Running Socks: ten toes up!
Now, back to the drama of the week…
Putting My Medical Ducks In A Row
Turns out the ER doc only supplied general phone numbers for a neuro and sports ortho – no actual doctor’s names, which was disappointing at first but then allowed me to get all researchy on where I should go. Unfortunately, the hospital with the highest-rated neurology department had no openings until March.
Then I found a fancy doc at Jefferson (same hospital from Monday’s ER visit, they’re rated #2) whose specialty is muskuloskeletal neurology, which I thought fit perfectly, but after doing an audition dance of faxing 25 pages of medical records, he wouldn’t take me. His office called and suggested a general neurologist, some young thing (I found her 4th-year resident pics from last year) which is disappointing, I would have liked someone with experience but oh, well. She looks smart.
Yet even with a fresh-faced doc, my appointment isn’t till January 30th. It’s ok though, I won’t self-combust before then and the way this thing waxes and wanes, I’m sure I’ll have many good running days in the meantime.
As for the sports ortho people, upon hearing my story, they wouldn’t even give me an appointment till I see a neurologist, but on a funny note, they suggested a neuro “we send all our patients to”. I immediately recognized the name from looking up doctors on those rating sites. He’s highly experienced but also has the absolute worst ratings of anybody. She seemed surprised when I told her he supposedly sucked.
The Nerve Of My Back! How Dare It?
Remember my sore cowbell back? While the cowbelling exacerbated it, it actually started aching the week before, so it’s been hurting for over 2 weeks! This is a new experience for me, I may be old but I’ve never spent this much time re-enacting an Advil commercial.
When I asked the ER doc why I should even contact a sports ortho person, he said it was on the off-chance that a pinched nerve is at play. I had already spent part of last week looking up leg weakness due to sciatica and nerve compression (that’s how I stumbled on the Morton’s Toe thing in the first place) and while I doubt it’s the whole story, it did seem reasonable that it could have sent me into Code Red. After all, the sore back coincides with the deterioration of my runs.
So after the ortho guys refused to give me an appointment, this idiot (me) remembered I have a great sports massage guy and even if none of this is related, I might as well see him to alleviate my aching back. So I went yesterday.
Brian asked a ton of pertinent questions and thinks it’s very possible that a muscle is impinging on a nerve, especially since it only appears when running and not instantly. He suspects it’s based in my glute but he didn’t want to say for sure till Monday’s session.
As usual, I’m kicking myself for not going sooner. Tomorrow, I’ll go for a short test run and see what happens. I was going to try today but my back still hurts (though far less) which in itself wouldn’t bother me on the run, but you know, I’m scared of being disappointed. I’d rather lose another day for the chance of a happier outcome.
In the meantime, I’m sitting on a wobble cushion to get my core involved and he gave me a great tip for sitting, that if I feel the need to readjust to get comfortable, don’t. Get up, shake the legs out, then sit again. Of course, it’s best to not sit at all but unfortunately, my ass is a magnet for chairs, but I am being way more mindful and taking breaks.
And back to the Morton’s Toe thing, I put a pad under the insole of my walking shoes and have noticed a real difference with how my foot, leg and hip align with it: no turnout. And when I do a squat, the knee tracks over the 3rd toe as it’s supposed to. So maybe that little adjustment, in tandem with massage, might actually be meaningful to this whole thing.
I remain cautiously optimistic with a huge emphasis on optimistic. Everything’s going to be fine.