Kashi Go Fart

Funny thing happened on the way to Saturday’s race that I neglected to mention:  While we were driving there, still in Philly, we passed an older Asian couple on the sidewalk chasing a duck.  The poor duck looked totally confused –  the man and woman were making menacing noises and threatening to throw a blanket over it until it wandered back inside their place of business.  Hilarious – until I read the sign over the door: Poultry Supplier.

On a less morbid food note, I’ve mentioned my latest evening snack is cereal, dry or with a little yogurt.  A few days ago I bought a box of Kashi Go Lean Crunch – great stuff, like grown-up people’s Sugar Smacks.  That evening, however…I started farting.  And farting.  And farting.  And not just any fart, the stinkiest most noxious farts you’ve ever smelled.  It wouldn’t end.  Nick told me I farted in my sleep for hours that night, leaving a cloud in the bedroom.

The next night, not yet connecting the farts to the cereal, I once again enjoyed the crunchy goodness of Kashi Go Lean.  Yum.  Two hours later, farts, farts and more farts.

I began to suspect it was indeed the Kashi, so I did a search on Google for kashi go lean farts and sure enough, pages of fart-infested stories about Kashi turned up.  For the next hour or so, Nick and I laughed hysterically reading some of these websites.  Our favorite is this one. Not only is the initial post entertaining, but the comments are hilarious.  Everyone’s so relieved it’s not just them spewing poison outta their asses.

On another website I found the perfect description of  the Kashi fart scent: “Smells like a mixture of raw sewage, rotting corpse, and lacquer thinner.”   Until reading that, I hadn’t been able to put my finger on it, but yes, that’s exactly what it smells like.  Too bad it’s so damn tasty.

So I won’t be eating it any more.  However, I am saving the rest of the box for whenever Nick pisses me off.  Now that we’ve established I can sleep through my farts.

30 thoughts on “Kashi Go Fart

  1. Bruce

    My wife complains about me without Kashi. It is nice to know no matter how bad your farts are you sleep thru them. Thats a talent worth bragging about. Make your self a tshirt, “Not only do I run, I sleep thru my farts.”

  2. Flo Post author

    Hah, I hadn’t thought of that! I could even line up right at the start line, blow a few out and be the only finisher. Wouldn’t even have to run. Valuable secret weapon, this Kashi Go Lean.

  3. Julie

    I’d go a step further and say that if you time your intake correctly, you could give yourself an advantage over slaying your rivals with noxious fumes — you could actually provide you own effective tailwind.

  4. Flo Post author

    Julie, that’s hilarious. My own little rocket pack.

    Flyers, I’m glad your wife gets to eat it in peace (happy for you, too). :D

  5. Jim E

    Thank you Flo. That thread brought tears to my eyes.
    Although I have not yet sampled the delights of Kashi Go Lean Crunch, I do find it almost impossible to fart quietly while running. Something to do with buttock tension, I suppose. It can be tricky when running in groups, having to lag back, or stride ahead, in order to let loose. :)

  6. Christi

    LMAO!!!!!! I have a box of Kashi in my cupboard and I am not eating it for the exact same reason. I am glad to know that it is not just me!!!! I like the ideas of using it to “slay” the competition. That may be the only way I get an age group medal!! As always thanks for the great laugh!!

  7. Flo Post author

    Farting while running: Unfortunately, Glover and Daniels neglected to touch on it in their books but I bet Noakes did, he accounts for everything in his 900-page encyclopedia. “As your mitochondria grow and flourish, there is an inverse reaction to holding permeable gas, the force of which will build in time with an increasing stride rate, creating pressure to the anus and resulting in a voluminous mass of air with an unpleasant odor that is impossible to contain.” I’ll go look it up now to see if I’m right.

  8. Jim E

    Are you getting a lot of visitors today, Flo? This page is now seventh result in that Google search for “kashi go lean farts”!

  9. Val

    I swear Im in Jr high but I love bathroom humor and plan to read more of that Kashi site later. I was laughing hysterically and couldnt bare to tell my coworkers the real reason why:-) Flo..I keep reading your site bc its brutally honest. Keep it up

  10. Flo Post author

    I know, I admit this is totally Jr. High humor. I’m on permanent hiatus from maturity. Thanks for saying Hi, Val! Welcome to the dark smelly side. :D

  11. Kazz

    That’s great. I wonder if it’s just the Go Lean Crunch? I get their blueberry, strawberry and golden puff cereals….need to pay more attention to my fart output after a bowl.

  12. Flo Post author

    I think it’s just the Crunch. I had a box of regular Go Lean once and don’t remember this happening at all. And I’d remember.

  13. Kai

    I get that with brown rice. I know it’s better for you than white rice, but I sit there after lunch feeling like something may explode if I don’t run to the bathroom. Try some of the other Kashi cereals and see if they are equally fart-inducing. =D

  14. Amelia S.

    hahHAHAHAHahahaHa! no way… i’ve been farting all day and just tried to take a nap, but woke myself up from farting. It’s ridiculous and awful. So I googled “farting in sleep” and guess what, this popped up! And guess what else… I totally ate a bowl of that exact cereal this morning. :p That’s hilarious, but bummmmer. it DOES taste good.

  15. Harley

    I googled the Kashi fart topic again to hopefully see if I can test my theory. I eat Kashi Go Lean Crisp and had RIDICULOUS farts. I switched from regular milk to Silk Very Vanilla Soymilk and amazingly the farts are almost eliminated!!! Anyone tried Silk with the Crunch? Let ppl know and share any experiments!

  16. Dennis

    Mystery solved! I mix a 1/2 cup of GOLEAN Crunch Honey Almond Flax in my oatmeal each day…at least 6 days a week. [queue the crickets]

    My wife is going to crack up when I share this post with her!

    BTW, I just stumbled across you blog today…on this post alone, I’ve added it to my Google Reader! CHEERS!

    1. Flo Post author

      Too funny! Glad you found the blog. Thanks to Google, I get a ton of visitors to this entry but not runners (so they read and leave). It’s fun to have a farting runner find me. :)

  17. Julie

    OMG!! I tried Kashi Go Lean for the first time and was disappointed because it is too much like Rice Krispies. I thought it would be more like a Granola type cereal, however my son saw an article that refers to cancer from ingredients in this cereal and so as I am goggling for research on this cereal, I’ve found nothing as it relates to cancer thus far but I can’t believe what I’m reading here. I have had so much gas these past few days that I thought maybe my son picked up whole milk instead of skim. I had no idea that Kashi was the reason for this recent explosion of gas, needless to say my son and I are laughing at the comments on here, very funny. I am thinking to give it to my friend for her parrot, the poor bird, lol.

    Although on a serious note, Doctors say that fibrous foods cause gas but it is good because it is getting rid of the free radicals in our bodies, like an antioxidant, and after a while the gas ceases. In this case the farts are the cleansing process. Worse yet, I was eating mine with yogurt which has the same effect on the stomach.

  18. Dave

    This stuff really produced gas like crazy. You could end the country’s dependence on oil and run the whole country on this natural gas.

  19. Melody

    Haha. Great Post. I have not problem with Kashi, but i maninly eat the bars, and not the ‘Go Lean’ but my son and I call Fiber One bars ‘Fart Bars’ for the same reason. I normally eat a ton of fiber so I suspect might be the type of fiber in them.

    Great blog. (re)beginning runner- I added you too my Google reader and I Love the headbands!

    1. Susie

      LOL! this was me at work all afternoon and into the evening. I put two and two together when I glanced at the box of Kashi Go Lean on the counter when I got home, did this search and voila. Now what to do with an almost full box of the stuff….btw I had not previously had the cereal and have been eating the bars for a while now (trail mix and chocolate/coconut) without offensive incident.

  20. Balloon Belly

    I have a date tonight and I’m actually thinking about canceling it because of this damn cereal.

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