Funny thing happened on the way to Saturday’s race that I neglected to mention: While we were driving there, still in Philly, we passed an older Asian couple on the sidewalk chasing a duck. The poor duck looked totally confused – the man and woman were making menacing noises and threatening to throw a blanket over it until it wandered back inside their place of business. Hilarious – until I read the sign over the door: Poultry Supplier.
On a less morbid food note, I’ve mentioned my latest evening snack is cereal, dry or with a little yogurt. A few days ago I bought a box of Kashi Go Lean Crunch – great stuff, like grown-up people’s Sugar Smacks. That evening, however…I started farting. And farting. And farting. And not just any fart, the stinkiest most noxious farts you’ve ever smelled. It wouldn’t end. Nick told me I farted in my sleep for hours that night, leaving a cloud in the bedroom.
The next night, not yet connecting the farts to the cereal, I once again enjoyed the crunchy goodness of Kashi Go Lean. Yum. Two hours later, farts, farts and more farts.
I began to suspect it was indeed the Kashi, so I did a search on Google for kashi go lean farts and sure enough, pages of fart-infested stories about Kashi turned up. For the next hour or so, Nick and I laughed hysterically reading some of these websites. Our favorite is this one. Not only is the initial post entertaining, but the comments are hilarious. Everyone’s so relieved it’s not just them spewing poison outta their asses.
On another website I found the perfect description of the Kashi fart scent: “Smells like a mixture of raw sewage, rotting corpse, and lacquer thinner.” Until reading that, I hadn’t been able to put my finger on it, but yes, that’s exactly what it smells like. Too bad it’s so damn tasty.
So I won’t be eating it any more. However, I am saving the rest of the box for whenever Nick pisses me off. Now that we’ve established I can sleep through my farts.