December 29th, 2009
I didn’t get a chance to wish everyone a happy holiday, sorry about that. I had a great couple of days with friends, hope you all had fun, too.
Yesterday should have started my Boston cycle. I like 16-week cycles and always get excited when I start a new one, but I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around marathon training again. Racing in any form is not appealing to me at all right now.
Philly fucked me up. I’ve lost a huge chunk of confidence and I’m not sure when it’s coming back. It’s one thing to fuck up a race, it’s another to have absolutely no clue as to why it happened or what to adjust so it doesn’t happen the next time. Those last miles are etched on my brain indelibly with no signs of dimming, and this is the first time in my running life that I don’t have hope.
I’m supposed to sign up for the Shamrock Half in March with my gal pals but I’m not feeling it. Chicago, which I’d said I wanted to do because the course is fabulous and it’d be another huge social event, is sounding to me like just another chance to bomb in a major way. I’m thinking I probably should stick with Boston as my one marathon this year since even that is tinged with dread.
So here I am, 16 weeks from Boston and I haven’t a clue as to how to proceed. I started doing fartleks this week because I need to get my legs moving but it’s hard to imagine wanting to do quality sessions again. I know it’s stupid but I feel like all those tempos and intervals betrayed me last cycle so putting out the effort now doesn’t seem worth it. I’ll get over it, I’m sure.
As for what to do, this being the first time I’ve hit 16-weeks out without a plan firmly in place, if I follow Hudson, you’re supposed to adjust each cycle to tweak what was lacking in the previous one, but frankly, I don’t know what that is! I don’t know what went wrong and what was right. Maybe I’ll just buy Pfitzinger’s 2nd edition of Advanced Marathoning so I don’t have to think about it and can just follow blindly. I don’t have the energy for much more than that right now.
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Oh Flo!
First I say focus on what you want to do for Boston, before worrying about the others (all though my heart skipped a beat at the thought of you not being at my first marathon).
You will have plenty of more sound advice than mine I am sure, but my gut says less is more. You seem stressed over the fact you had this very detailed plan and you think it failed you. I think if you try to take some of the stress out of the plan and just follow something (I like a bit of pfitz with some of your own Flo flavor tossed in for spice) the mental part may just fall into place.
Mind over matter…..now go talk to your pro marathoners and get some real solid advice.
I’ll bring up Chicago later. :-)
Confidence- the #1 Killer in marathon racing. I wish I had the answers for you, because then I would have the answers for myself! While I don’t have motivation problems, I do know what it’s like to have a race rob you of running confidence (Hello, St. Louis Marathon, I hate you).
My advice for you is to talk to someone you really trust about your upcoming training, someone that knows your previous training. For me, that was a friend on RWOL. This person needs to be familiar with you as a person, but also honest enough to give some truthful feedback. Ask this person what you should do, what kind of ‘plan’ might be best at this point.
Above all, give yourself a big hug! You are fast and awesome. You’ll get to the start line in Boston and Philly will be a mere memory.
i agree with LArunner: talk to someone your trust that knows your running and that you can bounce ideas off of. sometimes just having that kind of dialogue with someone can set your focus and flush out your ideas
and don’t forget that you are super-de-duper fast and going to kick major ass at boston
I think LAR had some great advice for you. You’re not the only person to train well, set a high but reachable bar, and not reach it the first time-you ARE fully capable of your goals and having kind of a mentor who provides honest feedback could help you get back to believing in yourself sooner (because you kick ass), and get you thinking about the best decisions for you with training.
hey girl, been missing you over the last few weeks.
Marathoning is tough. I know we’ve talked about this. It’s tough to recover from a “bad” race. Because the distance is so tough and long, it’s hard to just shake it off and do it again. It’s difficult to have a short term memory about an experience like the one you had. And it’s far too easy to play monday morning marathoner and try and figure out what went wrong, that can go on for MONTHS.
You’re in great shape. You have a great base, I wouldn’t put too much pressure on a plan RIGHT NOW. You have some time.
Don’t worry about Shamrock, that decision doesn’t have to be make RIGHT NOW either (which is a good thing since I just got up to 5 miles) nor does a decision about Chicago.
Take some time and get your groove back.
Love you girl.
I could have written this. You’re braver than I to tackle Boston. I’ve set the marathon aside for the time being and I’m only just beginning to miss real training after three weeks of slothdom. I have no advice other than to not push yourself into something you’re not ready for.
Ah – I guess that explains why you didn’t answer my question about going to Chicago. I hear you on being burnt – I am a little spent physically and mentally right now – not sure if I want to do the mega party in Chi-town either. I think you are putting too much pressure on yourself though. Have a good time running Boston and then consider a smaller, local Fall event to target (and let me know where so I can run it with you!)
Flo-are you looking to win these marathons? Looking to earn money at racing them? If the answer to these question is a solid “no,” then just enjoy the training and enjoy the experience of the races. if it’s no longer fun, do something else. sorry to be so harsh, but you’re a fabulous runner and most would be envious of what you can accomplish. The pressure you put on yourself is astounding and quite frankly, too much. Ease up, both on yourself and your impossibly high standards. Unless you’re looking to go pro, take it down a notch-just my two cents…
Lisa, I don’t have “impossibly high standards” at all! My only standards were to fulfill what my training indicated, not one shred more than that. I did the work, it went smoothly, so I expected a corresponding result – same as a 4:30 marathoner would expect their race to match their training.
Progman, yeah, that’s why I didn’t answer your question.
LA, very good point about the mentor. A Muse has offered to look at my last few weeks of training for Philly to look for clues, so I’m waiting on the outcome of that. He’s a great one to have in my corner and I’m looking to him for advice.
Thanks for the support, Stevi, Dog, Kazz, Karyn and Julie.
Hey Flo, sorry to hear you have the blahs. Some random thoughts:
De-emphasize Boston as a goal race. You could cruise it in 3:30 or so and have fun.
Maybe Hudson’s Level 3 plan is a big steaming pile. I’m applying Hudson adaptations to Daniels ‘A’ plan this time. You could do that with Pfitz.
Run that half. If you had a bad day at Philly, that should put it to rest. If there’s still a problem (I hope not) you need to know.
Buy some new shoes.
I’m watching you – and reading you, even from very ‘far away’ – in terms of my own running (we should call it jogging at this point). My only suggestion is – because I have nothing to offer regarding training plans – don’t go out and run while frustrated/angry/annoyed/disgruntled especially if all of that is focused towards your running. If its something else that’s entirely different, but as soon as you begin doing what is causing you the most grief – sometimes it backfires. At least it did for me, and I was tense every run and angry every run and frustrated – you name it, and it ended up in an inexplicable injury that only released itself when I got knocked up and knew there was no way I could ‘train’ for anything. It will happen for you, but most likely when you are running happy – for the sake of running.
Does anyone actually do a 16 week plan for Boston? I’ve only talked to a few people that start training for it that early, and I think the timing has something to do with it. Personally, I put it into my head that I ought to start caring again, but its pretty hard for anyone to be that motivated when you’re staring the fact that its a long winter ahead right in the face. I don’t know how the weather is where you are, but that -11 windchill is messing with my head at the moment. ;p
Its better to take a week or two easy now if you’re not feeling it because some workouts missed here and there *now* aren’t going to mean much in April. I did more like a 12 week for Boston last year. Goal was 14-16 but due to weather and a few other things getting in the way, I had to compress the actual build in 12, and January was ALL just increasing miles. I didn’t do any actual pace work till Feb and March. Granted, I make up my own plan but it worked out pretty well…
It’s already only 16 weeks to Boston? Holy crap.
It bums me out to hear you sound so unenthused about running. I think you’re smart to get back up and start training again even if your heart’s not in it now, because I’m sure (or at least I hope) that you’ll come to love it again as you get back into the routine of training. Just take a step back and remember that you’re doing this whole running thing for fun. Nobody’s paying you, you’re not making the world a better place — You’re just out there to have a good time, to relax, and to enjoy it. Taking that attitude into Boston will help you a bunch, I think. I had so much fun in Chicago when I didn’t care about time, and I want to chase that feeling again. It may have been the slowest marathon of the year, but it was also the most fun.
Thanks for these great responses. I need to clarify that running is still bringing me joy, I still love running! It’s not knowing how to get in a better position for the next marathon that’s freaking me out. I thought it went swimmingly last cycle so that’s why I’m left scared. A mental hump.
As far as racing and going for a 3:30, that isn’t anything I want to do. I’d rather stay home then. I’m not shooting for anything crazy, in fact I’ll be shooting for 3:19:59, slower than my Philly goal, so even if I didn’t gain any fitness in the next 4 months (highly unlikely), it’s a reasonable goal.
Aha – That’s more like it! I suspected you wouldn’t go for the 3:30 plan.
One more thing – see if you can introduce some novelty – Julie’s getting some racing snowshoes, I’m pacing a marathon. Bad for training? Maybe. Good for motivation? Certainly!
Have you thought of doing a bunch of marathons (not doing just ONE goal marathon) and being a pacer? That way, you slowly build back some race day confidence so on your one goal race you blast thru 3:15? Maybe come to Clevetucky and be a 3:50 pacer…..
I totally know about questioning Philly (I really thought I was ready for 3:50 and I still think I was-even with no MP’s I should’ve made it happen, but I can’t quite explain WTH happened that day), I think LAR has a good idea to have someone look at your training. Even if they don’t think there was anything wrong with it, at least you may feel better that it was just the marathon day beast.
BlackBear, I thought of that for about a minute, but I actually don’t like marathons and 20-mile training runs enough to want to do it in bulk. I’m not naturally drawn to marathons like you and my other serial marathoning friends, but it seemed like standard progression in racing/running, so that’s why I got on this marathon train.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my ex-hubby Jonny, who is a scuba diver extraordinaire. His career is Scuba, he’s taught it for years, is also a highly trained technical diver and is able to catch fish (and sharks!) with his bare hands. If I’d trust my life with anyone underwater, it’d be him. For all his expertise, he limits his diving to tropical waters, doesn’t see the point in freezing his ass off or not being able to see 1ft in front of him because of crappy visibility. No way in hell would I find him any less of a diver because of that fact. It’s what the guy likes.
With that in mind, I need in my heart to make sure the way I feel about marathons is 100% because of what I genuinely like (or dislike) and not colored by sour grapes. I do believe it’s coming from a real place since I’ve never been marathon crazy and the thought of 2 cycles in a year was never a pleasant thought, whereas all you fabulous runners are “yeah, sign me up for another!”
Would the joy from having a successful marathon make me fall in love with the sport and want to do more? Could be, I’m open to that and it’s what I hope to find out in Boston. But my instincts whisper otherwise.
Hi Flo, I also had a disappointing race and am stuck with the post race blues. Just getting my mileage up so I can get mostly ready for Mrytle Beach in 7 weeks. I am even thinking about making that the last marathon for awhile. Might stick with shorter stuff and run Disney next year with a non-race effort. Just don’t feel like putting myself through that again. I really like running everyday. I just don’t like racing.
Hugs Dave, I hear you loud and clear. We had a very similar season this year, though my bomb was bigger than your bomb.
I’m hoping you have a great time in Myrtle beach and that it cleanses the blues, maybe even makes you excited about racing again. But if not…that’s cool too. The joy of running is a beautiful thing, however it plays out.
Hi Flo, I know I’ve felt ‘burnt’ like you are feeling now, and it’s no fun. Maybe just switching training plans for something new is all you need to get going. ??? You can always tweak things around to your liking. The important part is just getting out the door. If you choose to do Boston, you can pretty much relax and run shorter races the rest of the year. Yaaay!
A friend of mine used Joe Rubio’s masters marathon schedule to get herself a HUGE (over 30-minute) PR from 3:40-something to 3:10. And she only averaged about 65 miles per week during the peak month. Joe is a regular writer for Running Times magazine as well as a coach for several National Class and Elite runners… not to mention a running club coach for slow pokes like me.
Let me know if you’re interested and I will gladly email it to you. For now… enjoy the rest of the week. Indulge in lots of sweets, booze, sleep, whatever floats your boat. And then next week… get out there and get running.
Did you know that there’s a Little Italy section of Wilmington, Delaware? I didn’t. But then I went to this site, and I think you should visit it too!
I thought of your plight a while and then figured I’d just say what I’d do. Much of what you say (here and earlier) resonates with me.
You have this monkey on your back. Can you run a decent marathon? So best to get an answer to that one sooner rather than later. Now I think you do. If it turns out you don’t stick to the shorter stuff.
So you need to get a marathon, thirsty for revenge for what she (like ships, marathons are “shes”) did to you. There are three reasons not to run Boston.
First, it’s an unusual course in that it has (so I’ve heard) a big drop in the early miles. I’m not a fan of searching out flat courses, but given those early Boston miles you have the potential of having unnecessary difficulty. I’d never run Boston because of those early hills.
Second, the field may well be too crowded at your pace. Again, why add that difficulty?
Third, it’s too soon. You’re already stressing about speed stuff. Give yourself another month. Get some more miles in before you start. I’m a fan of 24-week cycles, with the first quarter of that just getting runs in.
As to the “Boston-is-special” crap, I’ve never done it and I don’t think I’ve missed anything. And you don’t need one of those BAA jackets. We all know you’ve arrived.
I know nothing of the Delaware Marathon. I found it by searching for marathons in PA, NJ, and DE. And it may have an issue since it’s double the HM held at the same time. But it seems a reasonable place to try.
And forget Chicago. As a non-fabulous runner, one-a-year is enough, and maybe one too many.
As they say in Wilmington’s Little Italy, capiche?
Glorybelle, I’ll email you! I’d like to see the plan, best to have a full selection before deciding.
Joe, sweet guy, I’m doing Boston without question, it’s a done deal. I’ve got about 30 friends I need to finally meet in person and this will be my chance.
I totally agree with your points though, from 1 to 3. I don’t care one bit about the race, the social event is the only reason I’m doing it. Your 2nd point about the field being crowded (not to mention poised to be a little slower due to my corral placement) is something I’ve been thinking about already. Plus, I don’t like the shade of blue that BAA uses for it’s jackets so I won’t be getting one.
But it’s all moot, I don’t need revenge anymore, I’m done – this’ll be my last marathon. I wrote an addendum to this post, it’s all there. But if I ever did another, I’d consider Little Italy, thanks to your tip.
Okay I have read both posts, here is my take. Marathons are hard, and just because you put the work in does not mean you are entitled to a good result. I understand the fear of failure, but if it were me I would still try again at Boston. What do you have to lose?
Preston, I am going to try at Boston, I’d like to do well but like I said in the other post, I’m not going to work 110% this go ’round. That doesn’t mean I’m going to sit on my ass and hope for a miracle, though, I still have to do the work! Cutting a few miles shouldn’t ruin my chances – it’s still a respectable amount of mileage for a marathon plan (high 60s, peak mid 70s).