Archive for December, 2009

On this last day of 2009, a year where I experienced quite a bit of crazy stuff both in running and personal life, I wanted to thank you, my dear readers and commenters, for helping out with your wisdom, humor and constant support.  You guys really made this year a lot less crappy in many ways.  When I needed to vent or felt beaten down, you all made a point to speak up and lift my spirits.  When I felt jubilant (because it wasn’t all crap this year, lol) when my paces took that crazy dive in the Spring, you guys were never shy to pat me on the back and say how great it was.  I’m so incredibly lucky to have you all as a cheering section, so thank you, thank you, thank you.  You made a real impact in my life.

2009 Mileage: My friend Ron on the 3:20 thread reminded us that not only would today’s run be the last of the year, it’s the last of the Decade!  How fun to have that zenith.  I ran 3112 miles this year, 1076 over last year.  Funny to know that it’ll be my lifelong mileage record.  It’s all good though – I figure even after April, once I’ve settled into Half territory, I’ll still average mid to high 60s, so no huge drop in store.

Recent Runs: I had a great 10-miler yesterday, pumped by my decision to make Boston the final word.  I’ve been thinking about that stuff for the entire month so it’s a big weight lifted off my shoulders.  I felt light and happy, 10 miles at 8:18.  Today was a short 6 on fresh snow, 8:45s.

Looking ahead: Kat, Doggie, Loren and I are signed up for Shamrock!  Kat saw they were selling out yesterday and the price goes up to $90 tomorrow (it’s already $80 for a damn Half! $86 when you count Active’s cut) so it was time to get on it.  We signed up as an Open Team since Dog and Loren are annoyingly too young to be Masters.  Anyway, after feeling so blah a couple days ago about registering for this race, I’m glad we committed, it’s great to have an interim goal for the Spring.

And with that, my sweets, I’m wishing you all a fantastic 2010.  May it be the start of something wonderful in your lives whether that’s running-related, love-related, moolah-related or whatever.   Onward and upward, folks.  That’s what it’s about.

Much love,
Flo

An evening update to my last post.  I’m feeling much better now after a major decision.  Thanks to an email from Dog that said, “Girl, if you don’t like marathons, don’t run them!” and when I replied saying I felt like a wuss, she  responded “You’re not a wuss. Hell. look at Loren, she’s the best runner I know and I doubt she’ll ever run a marathon. Marathoning doesn’t make you a runner, it makes you a marathoner.”

What a great sentence, “Marathoning doesn’t make you a runner, it makes you a marathoner“.  I think that’s what’s been ripping me up, that I’ve been equating the two.  It’s particularly difficult because all my internet running friends are marathoners.  But the honest-to-god truth, no bullshit at all, is that I don’t particularly like marathon training. In fact, if I never run another 20 miler, I’d be happy.  Hah!  Can’t believe I just said that.

Seriously, if I was going to name the longest Long Run I actually enjoy doing, it’d be 15 or 16, 17 peak, with an average daily run of 7-10.  That spells H.A.L.F.  And you know what?  That’s cool by me!

So here’s what’s going to happen.  I’m going to train for Boston with a little less mileage than I did for Philly.  I had 3 peak weeks at low 80s, this time I’m going to peak at 75 tops. I’m going to average high 60s instead of mid-70s.  And you know what? If I end up slower for it, then whoop-de-doop, que sera sera.  After scoffing at Jim’s comment to perhaps take it easy and target a 3:30, well I may just end up there because I’m not going to bust a gut over this cycle.

I’m still not going to “run for fun”, that’s simply not in my DNA, but I will race at wherever that training puts me.  If I regress a tad, so be it.  Because this is going to be my last marathon.  What better place to give a swan song than Boston?  It might suck again, but who gives a crap, it’d just confirm what I already know…that long distance is not my deal.  So here’s to having fun in whatever size package it comes in.  All I really want to do is love running until I can’t do it anymore.

I didn’t get a chance to wish everyone a happy holiday, sorry about that.  I had a great couple of days with friends, hope you all had fun, too.

Yesterday should have started my Boston cycle.  I like 16-week cycles and always get excited when I start a new one, but I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around marathon training again.  Racing in any form is not appealing to me at all right now.

Philly fucked me up.  I’ve lost a huge chunk of confidence and I’m not sure when it’s coming back.  It’s one thing to fuck up a race, it’s another to have absolutely no clue as to why it happened or what to adjust so it doesn’t happen the next time.  Those last miles are etched on my brain indelibly with no signs of dimming, and this is the first time in my running life that I don’t have hope.

I’m supposed to sign up for the Shamrock Half in March with my gal pals but I’m not feeling it.  Chicago, which I’d said I wanted to do because the course is fabulous and it’d be another huge social event, is sounding to me like just another chance to bomb in a major way.  I’m thinking I probably should stick with Boston as my one marathon this year since even that is tinged with dread.

So here I am, 16 weeks from Boston and I haven’t a clue as to how to proceed.  I started doing fartleks this week because I need to get my legs moving but it’s hard to imagine wanting to do quality sessions again.  I know it’s stupid but I feel like all those tempos and intervals betrayed me last cycle so putting out the effort now doesn’t seem worth it.  I’ll get over it, I’m sure.

As for what to do, this being the first time I’ve hit 16-weeks out without a plan firmly in place, if I follow Hudson, you’re supposed to adjust each cycle to tweak what was lacking in the previous one, but frankly, I don’t know what that is!  I don’t know what went wrong and what was right.  Maybe I’ll just buy Pfitzinger’s 2nd edition of Advanced Marathoning so I don’t have to think about it and can just follow blindly.  I don’t have the energy for much more than that right now.

Last week, the title of this post found its way into my head.  It was a couple days after I’d written that Financial Marathon post when I got a last minute voiceover for the following day.  I’d already figured December would be pretty sucky on the VO front with only a couple on the schedule, so that was a nice unexpected shot of dough.  Then, in the last few days, I booked 3 more (2 for tomorrow and one for the first week of January).  Considering it’s the holidays when that kind of work tends to go deadsville, this is pretty dang good.  So once again, the phrase “The Universe Will Provide” popped into my brain.

Today however, it graduated to becoming my new mantra.

For the last 4 days, I’ve been worrying about the wall of snow my car’s been sitting behind.  Since tomorrow morning’s job is a 40-minute drive away, I had to do something about it.  Sweet Nick, who’s been getting me out of tight spots for the last 5 years and continues to do so, even though we’re no longer an item, said “let’s dig each others cars out together and if mine is easier, you can borrow it to get to the job” which instantly made me feel better, since there was no way I could have done it alone.

So this morning, we look at my car and realize it’s worse than I thought, there was just too much hardened snow to even try clearing it.  While I could borrow Nick’s car to get to my job, it meant my Xmas plans (driving to upstate NY to my best friend’s annual sleepover party) would have to be canceled.

The Universe Will Provide.

We’re standing there, looking at it, realizing it’s a lost cause, when that funny old guy I mentioned in the last post, the one who lent me his shovel, appears with that same huge grin on his face and starts chatting with us.  He’s been working over there the past couple days removing snow from the Union Hall parking lot, a few yards from where my car was parked.

A mere $25 later, he and his Toro snow blower had cleared all the snow around the car but not before showing me his handgun (kept under 4 pairs of pants which entailed an amusingly tame strip session), telling me about his colon cancer in ’03 and his wife who has Alzheimer’s, and sharing with me a few joyous philosophies on life.  I couldn’t help but hug the guy in thanks and that 73 year-old hugged me back so hard, he picked me up off the ground!  Then Nick helped with the finishing touches (because my battery died, too, so when we got his car out, Nick saved my ass with a charge).  Suddenly, my worries from the last 4 days evaporated and in its place, an incredible feeling of inner peace.

The Universe does appear to be providing, and just when I need it.  I also love saying it because “The Universe” is such a profound, infinite thing, it makes me feel there are positive forces at work.  But don’t worry, I’m not going all New Agey on you all, I’m too pragmatic for that, but it doesn’t hurt to have a positive outlook right now. I think it’s making me more receptive to whatever opportunities arise.

Off topic, I wanted to say that it never fails to amaze me how many people comment on this blog. I feel the love and want you to know I’m sending it back in waves.  But sometimes I feel guilty because while one day I might be in talky mode and reply to everything, or at least a few comments,  often I don’t even have the energy to reply to anything.  That’s totally my weird hermit ways and why, though I’m technically on Facebook, I only log in fast enough to check out whatever it is I’ve been told to go see, before logging off within seconds.  So if I don’t reply to your blog comment please know that it’s not because I don’t cherish it and sincerely thank you for contributing, it’s just because I’m a hermit freak sometimes.

I’ll leave you with something from my apartment building that made me laugh.  There’s a new sign on the inside of the front door, I guess in case you can’t remember how you got in the building in the first place or for those who think that the street and cars seen through both outer door’s glass panes might be a mirage.

Technically, a day early but because Philly got its second heaviest snowfall yesterday ever with 23.2″ reported, the season has officially begun.

I woke up on Saturday to a glistening white morning with a lot of wind.  The winds calmed down a bit by the time I got out, though a windchill of 11 with blowing snow required all my cold-weather accessories; glasses with the clear lenses snapped in, homemade neck gaiter from the leg of a pair of stretch pants, 2 pairs of socks and my headband with a billed hat instead of the knit hat so the snow wouldn’t pelt my face too badly.  Clothes-wise, I wore my UA mock, a shortsleeve over that and my Asics storm jacket with thick tights below.  Fabu.

The parks commission is the greatest, they had already plowed the path, so I was running on mostly packed snow.  I had intended to go 5 or 6 but it was so astoundingly beautiful and I figured Sunday would be a real mess, that I extended the run to 12 miles to get the weekend’s LR out of the way.  It stayed lovely until the last 1/2 mile when the winds got nasty, so I was happy to get home when I did.

Today, as expected, was a total mess of ice and snow.  The mile getting to the park required tip-toeing, jumping and sliding.  Once there though, it was even better than yesterday, they plowed it so well I was running directly on the asphalt.  I just went 6, finishing off a second week of 53 miles, all easy.

Meanwhile, my car is behind a 5′ wall of snow thanks to the plows.  I attempted to clear some off, but lacking a shovel, I used my plastic kitchen trash can which was working pretty well, but then some funny old guy who was shoveling halfway down the block came over laughing saying, “I’ve been shoveling snow since 1958 and have never seen anyone use a bucket.  Here, use my shovel for awhile.”  Honestly, the trash can worked better than the shovel, but it was so sweet of him, I used it for about 20 minutes.  Then I got tired and bored and said screw it.

So I hope the snow magically disappears in the next couple days because I have a job on Wednesday that I have to drive to, but with the forecast remaining cold, I think I’ll be out there with my trash can on Tuesday, only then it’ll be iced.  Fun.

Speaking of jobs, I just found an odd one online that I did for the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.  I’m the brown dog. Then, at the end, if you click the link for the Gallery, there are links on the left under Galleries and Activities that say “Watch a story” – I’m in those, too (though they’ve switched our voices to opposite dogs, lol).  ‘Twas an odd character piece, but a nice change from the usual dry stuff I do.

In other work news, I just completed my first week of the aforementioned Financial Marathon cycle and LOVED it!  My usual method of working is 12-14 hour days until a project is finished, then I take way too much time off to regroup.  No more, now I’m steady as she goes. Parceling my time out in smaller increments is a lot more appealing  and will ultimately be way more sustainable.  I did 31 hours of hard-core work, plus more that I’m not counting because it’s research and reading and I find that to be purely fun.

And my boss (who is at this moment stunningly beautiful in her uniform of PJs, robe and fuzzy booties) is turning out to be a real gem.  She’s already mulling over bonuses of a high-quality graphics monitor and an iPhone but hasn’t decided yet how to implement it.  Maybe for a string of 40-hour weeks for the iPhone and if the June 30 goal comes in a month early, the monitor.

It’s all hugely fun, but also a major life change that couldn’t have come at a better time.  Running consumed me this past year and while it was meaningful and so rewarding, there’s been a serious lack of balance.  Now that I’m headed toward some non-running goals, I can see how much room I have to grow in other areas of my life.  Though it all goes back to running, because without its impact, I’d never dream of the plans I have now or know I could achieve them without question.

I could go on about the discoveries I’m making and my magic motivational notebook which is becoming a life force unto itself, but I’ll save it for another time…or not.  This is, after all, a running blog and motivational stuff might be a yawn to most of you out there.  If you feel one way or the other, let me know in a comment, I’m happy to oblige either way.

Have a happy Monday, kids.

So my plan to increase my income by a few hundred bucks has evolved into something bigger.  New plan is to double my income by June 30.  And I can do it.

I was thinking about what running has brought into my life;  structure, determination, acquiring of goals, self-esteem – all things that can be transferred to anything you want to motivate yourself to do!  So the last couple days I’ve been devising a plan and getting as motivated as I would for any new training cycle, only this time, it’s for life stuff.

I’ve often said that the reason training plans appeal to me is that I have little structure in my days.  Being free and easy is fab, but knowing I waste copious amounts of time is not something that brings me happiness.  There is something soul-infecting when you’ve finished reading all your pertinent news sites, forums and checked all your stats 10 times, only to end up on TMZ or People.com.  I can do better.

With this in mind, I’ve devised a 28-week Financial marathon cycle.  While it doesn’t have much in the way of LT runs or VO2 sessions, it does have checkmarks each month for where I want my financial “fitness” to be.  I believe it’ll only require a mere 30 hours of solid work a week to achieve – though I’m not including voiceover work in this (currently, more than half my income) – this is all for the stuff I can do without anyone else’s intervention: my t-shirt sites and affiliate sales sites.

A major realization moving forward  is that I could never get motivated when the goal was “to have more money”.  I’ve tried that before, but money without a reason is meaningless to me, so this apartment situation is like a gift because suddenly, I have a pressing goal with a timeframe attached.   I also have a car goal, but that’s secondary since my ugly car still works, though if all goes as planned, I’ll be able to have both, anyway.

So I’ve got a beautiful picture on my computer desktop now with the apartment I want and the car I want along with June’s monetary goal written across.  It’s beautiful!!  I’ve also got a fancy notebook where I’ve written out my plan and motivational thoughts to keep me on the steady.  I could write the plan and motivational bon mots in the computer, but I think there’s something to be said about writing goals by hand, it feels warmer and more immediate. Add to this a little visualization and I am pumped!

And that’s the scoop.   I’ll keep you guys posted when anything worth mentioning arises, and maybe some of you can think about ways to incorporate your own dedication to running into something tangible for 2010.  We’re strong people, us runners – we know how to follow through.  And I firmly believe this sport can bring us more than fun in the sun, medals and PRs, it has the power to change our lives.