Archive for September 18th, 2008

Tomorrow is packet pick-up for PDR, so while I’m wasting the night away, I turned on the TV for some brain numbing entertainment in an attempt to stop thinking about running.

My favorite show these days, hands-down, is Tabatha’s Salon Takeover on Bravo, where Aussie straight-talker Tabatha goes to a failing hairdressing salon, whips the owners and staff into shape then gives the salon a renovation.

The show must have been advertised in the salon trade magazines as “Get a free renovation for your hair salon!  Be a part of a reality show!”, because the owners are always freaked out and pissed off at her for messing with their business.  You can tell all they wanted was a new look for their crappy salon.

Tonight’s best moment was when one of the hairdressing staff asks Tabatha during the initial meeting, “What’s our cigarette schedule?”
“What?!?” Tabatha replies incredulously.
“Our smoking schedule” the girl repeats.
Cut to Tabatha alone, speaking to the camera “Here’s a smoking schedule for you: Fuck Off!”

And at least once in every show she’ll say, “You are fucking del-u-sional” And of course, she’s right.  Plus, this is the second week where one of the  hairstylists (in different salons, mind you) calls her a Monster behind her back, and I think the show’s only been on 3 episodes so far.  I Heart Tabatha.

America’s Next Top Model.  I don’t watch this anymore, but since Nick’s out of town, I recorded an episode as a guilty pleasure.  This year they have a preoperative transsexual as one of the contestants, named Isis, who seems to have a very sweet personality, but as far as model attributes go, has scrawny chicken legs, bad teeth and a lazy eye.  Ain’t no way this one could pass (as a woman or a model).

On this particular episode, they had to model bikinis, so Isis didn’t have much choice for the pose exept to sit with high-crossed legs, since she has a package to conceal.   Yeah, that’ll work in the real world.  Hey Tyra, here’s a twist for next season: get some girls that actually look like models, now that would be craaazy!

America’s Got Talent.  (Notice how shows with “America’s” in the title, are usually exceedingly stupid?)  This one needs to end yesterday because they’ve sucked me in yet again and I can’t get out.  The compelling reason to watch this show is partly the talent, but mostly because one of the judges is the infamous, slurring drunken burger-eater, David Hasselhoff (Don’t Hassle the Hoff!).

The true test the judges ask when considering whether the contestants deserve to move to the next round is, “Can they sustain a show in Vegas for an hour and a half?”.  A completely sensible question and one that has resulted in many mediocre talents removal.  Which leaves me wondering why a 4-year old, standing stock still, singing a song from Beauty and Beast (yes, she’s cute, but c’mon), is still returning week after week.  Obviously, Celine Dion’s got nuthin’ on her!

Our favorite part of the show is that pivotal moment each week when The Hoff says to yet another contestant, “You’re what this show is about!”.  We just love how slutty he is with hyperbolistic praise.  But I’m holding off watching this week’s episodes till Nick comes back from vacation, because nothing is more fun than yelling epithets at The Hoff with your loved one.

Beyond these, there are other shows I love to distraction: The Office, 30 Rock, The Soup, Project Runway, and a couple others.  But enough of this TV talk, I should go in the other room and attempt to read some fiction because I can feel it coming on now; that irresistable urge, an insatiable need to pull out Daniels’ Running Formula or Advanced Marathoning or…  I’m hopeless.